abel’s home

Archive for June, 2009

Clean stuff

E-I-E-I-O and I were hanging out and since we’re boys, we ended up getting dirty and smelly in our armpits. And, I’m just going to be honest. I’m older than E-I, and I get more stinky. I’m not afraid to initiate bath time. Thankfully, E-I is understanding and totally willing to take time out and wash our arm pits.
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When it’s bath time, I like to get the boring cleaning stuff out of the way so that we can get to the important fun time. E-I was having a hard time focusing. He just wanted to bite on the black thing so hard that when I talked to him about getting clean, I saw his lip start to quiver. At that point, I changed the subject, stepped up, and began bathing him while he played. I felt like today was a big milestone for me as I had my first mature, pre-kid-man good thing.
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Lately everyone has been asking me the same question. How do you know when a baby-man’s hair is clean? You know what? That’s a tough question because baby-men have special and confusing hair. But, let me give you a tip from my experience. When you’re washing baby-man hair, it will seem fuzzy and stinky for a little while. You’ll think to yourself, “Wow, I’m really perplexed. How do I know when to stop?” Just keep scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing until you start to see a little swirl forming. Swirl rhymes with pearl, and pearls are very clean.

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I know what you’re thinking. Where’s the swirl on your head? May I remind you that I’m a pre-kid-man? My swirl pearl technique can only be applied to baby-men.

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When we were finished getting clean, I was ready to start playing new things. E-I, on the other hand, couldn’t stop thinking about that black circle thing. At first I was a little frustrated. But, soon I started to have friend feelings again and let him do what he thought was best. I decided to take the time to practice my blue cup crawl stroke. It’s a little move I created for those times when you want to exercise and have the freedom to drink at any split second.

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Did you know that I have a new cousin? His name is Dylan Alexander. I bought him this fun little silly guy to welcome him into the family. Honestly, I already know the silly guy’s name, but that’s really not my place. He’s not my silly guy. He belongs to Dylan now, and I need to respect his naming rights.

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I already have a Cuz D, so I’m really thinking carefully about what Dylan’s rap name should be. What I need to do is have Daddy beatbox for me while I rap stuff out of my head and heart. That’s when the good stuff always comes out. Until then, I’m going to call him D, D, the Honeybee.
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On Saturday when Auntie Heidi peekabooed D the Honeybee into the world, I started a new tradition. I decided that every new family member should be initiated with a teddy bear hug cuddle. But, at the same time I shoved him just a little so that he would know that we’re boys and we have to do roughy things too. My shove may have also been to let him know that I’m a pre kid man, and he’s not. Hey, I’m not being mean. When I was a baby-baby I totally remember wanting the pre kid men to shove me and stuff. It’s good to establish where we all stand, ya know?
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My initiation then got mushy again and I gave him a kissie on the cheek. Nothing is as it seems, so of course it was not a normal kissie either. At the end, I gave him a little zerbie so that he could know just how silly I am. Cuz D. has taught me everything I know about silliness, and I’m prepared to pass it on down the line.
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Beach like a man

We went to the beach not so long ago. Look – There’s a toughy way and a softy way to do the beach. I have nothing against softies. I have a softy side, but I have control over when to use it and when to leave it in the car. For this particular beach experience, I needed to leave it in the car.

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When you’re being tough, you have to naturally let sand get all over you. No froofy beach towels are necessary. You don’t even need a bathing suit because your clothes are supposed to get messy and wet in this situation.

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When you’re tough, please, still take out moments to ponder. It’s very toughy to ponder especially when it has to do with seaweed that you find on the beach. There are many things to think about regarding seaweed-type stuff, and I wouldn’t want anyone to miss that opportunity.

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Let me show you a close up of my piggies. Normally you would like to have your piggies visible, clean, and smelling like piggies should. Well, at the beach – in a toughy situation that is – make sure they are hardly recognizable, overly dirty, and smelling like beach stuff. Bonus: when you’re a pre-kid man, you don’t usually have any manly leg hair and stuff. Sand all over makes a great substitute! Don’t be afraid to try this out.

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Oh! I haven’t even mentioned my monkey back pack. Every toughy needs a backpack when you go out-of-doors. You never know when you might need a flashlight, cheerios, a crayon, book, or a rock. Always be prepared.
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Doing my part

“Helper” is my middle name. Actually, Justice is my middle name, but that’s kinda like helping, right? I like to bring justice to our household in little simple ways like putting various things in the trash, putting other various things in the diaper pale, putting more various things in the potty, and then of course vacuuming. Whenever I hear the hum of the vacuum, I get this tinge of Justice between my other two names that compels me to immediately locate my vacuum and join in on the campaign.

I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, Mr. Abel, you’re only a pre-kid-man once. Enjoy your toys and snacks. Well, I have one thing to say to that. Not everyone has Justice as their middle name, so I need to take my role seriously whether it’s in the household or in saving a sweet bunny from getting pricked by a thorn bush, for example.

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