abel’s home

Archive for September, 2008

The Big Guns

When my teddy guy turned up missing, I knew that I couldn’t waste any time. I needed professional help, so I hired Baby Holmes* to take care of business. Some things are just too risky to do yourself.

*This is a fictional name to protect the identity of this high-security, handsome, cool man. I also refrained from picturing his whole face for the same reason. Thank you for understanding.

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Wow, Baby Holmes has no limits. He’s willing to face the most dangerous obstacles in order to bring justice to the common people. By the way, I also heard that he’s willing to do fun dares that defy belief like standing on tippy toes in high-rise sink baths. His courage knows no boundaries!

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1 Grandma + 1 swimming time + Bullfrog sunscreen + baby bald hair + 2 shampooing attempts

= A sticky, unruly new hairdo

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I’m sorry, was it hard to see my hair in the last picture? Here, let me give you my best GQ thinking pose.

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As you all know, solid food is my arch enemy. So, today when Mommy suggested strawberries, I said, “Milk please.” At least I’m polite, right?

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But, then she told me the secret. I guess strawberries help your muscles grow big. Well, that’s all she had to say. Before she could even finish reciting her pretty pleases with milk on top, I was all over it.

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A baby-man needs a little alone time after such a great endeavor as eating several strawberries. Did I say several? Yes. I take muscle making very seriously.

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Well, you can’t expect to come out spotless, right? I like to call these my solid food battle wounds.

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Beach Day

In honor of Daddy’s return, me and Mommy decided to take him to the beach. The beach is a very sunny place. It’s important to put on lots of thick lotion and wear a hat. Mommy packed everything for us, so when it became hat time Daddy and I just reached in the bag and pulled one out. He ended up having to wear the one I picked because the blue one wasn’t fitting over all of his hair. I guess it pays to have bald baby hair.

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Come on! Like you really thought we could go a whole day without Mommy squeezing in a luvey moment. She has no shame. She’ll hug me, squish me, and kiss my cheeks off right there on the middle of the beach for all to see.

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There comes a point in every baby’s day when the pictures just have to stop. This is one of my non-verbal cues.

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Only to help

Daddy, I know you specifically asked if I could hold off on the new tricks until you get home. Well, I did get a little impatient with a couple things. But, this one I can totally explain. Mommy told me that you would have a lot of suitcases to carry when we pick you up. Right when she told me that, I made my mind up that I was going to learn how to stand on my own so that I can help you. What good are bulging biceps if your mommy has to carry you all day long?

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I’m only 27 inches tall, so I figured I wouldn’t be able to see over the airport crowds very well. Don’t worry, when my piggies boost me up, I gain at least 2 inches. Daddy, look for the blondie hairs poking through the crowd because I might not be tall enough to show my whole face.

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A new buddy

Meet Edwardo. He’s my new teddy guy friend. I guess you can say our friendship started right when we both needed it most. Edwardo: He’s a shaggy old teddy guy, locked up in Grandpa and Grandma’s drawer o’ fun. Lonely, I guess you could say. Me: I miss my daddy and my teeth are coming in against my and my daddy’s wishes. We have an understanding. I hug and love him, and in return I get to try out my teeth on his ear.

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You’re probably thinking, “Whoa Mr. Abel, take it easy, will ya? He’s only a fragile teddy guy.” That’s where you’re mistaken. That’s also where little teddy guys across the decades have been hurt and misunderstood. He’s a toughy and I really don’t want to hear you say that again.

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Note to self: Work on that fake smile. One must always be ready with a convincing fake smile when one’s mommy busts out the camera.

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Fake smile scenario #2. Suppose someone asks you if you miss your daddy. If you aren’t in the mood to go into details or simply don’t have the time, simply put on a fake smile and say, “I’m fine.” Fine is a good word because if your friend is a really good listener, he’ll read between the lines and give you a big hug without asking any more questions. But at the same time, any eavesdroppers will have no idea, and you’re home free.

By the way, I did get a hug out of this one.

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