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New Glasses

I got some new fancy glasses. They’re very versatile. They can be sunglasses if it’s too shiny outside. They can be protective glasses if you are running through sprinklers. And, they can also be “look smart” glasses with which you can do things like read, teach, have a heated discussion, or sit in a meeting.

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There’s this phrase that goes like this: “All seriousness aside.” You say it before you say another bunch of words, and it sounds special. Well, these glasses make me think of that phrase too. They are very serious glasses, but sometimes you just have to throw seriousness aside, stop intimidating people, and goofy around for a little bit.
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They said on the box “one size fits all.” Maybe it should say “one size fits everyone a little differently.”
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Speaking of Daddy, he builds spectacular towers. AND, he does it all while balancing his body on one side and building with just one hand. I’m in the apprenticeship stage of this skill.

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My last month and a half

You may have thought, “What happened? Did Abel Justice all of a sudden grow up and move to Memphis for their famous ice cream?” Don’t worry folks. I’m still here, and my mommy has a baby in her belly. That’s why our computer time has been limited. I am too luvey to bug her about getting my blog ready for me to compose. A wise snail once told me, “Have patience, have patience. Don’t be in such a hurry…” That’s a song, and if you ever want to hear it, just do something impatient around Mommy. She’s sure to begin singing. Anyway, here’s a recap on my life during Mommy’s sick couch time.

Gramma D. showed me how to be an artist. She is the most fancy artist in our family, so it only makes sense that she would show me the ropes.

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Daddy showed me how to blow bubbles. I guess I got showed a lot of stuff during the sick time. I had no idea, but I guess there’s a proper form to use when one is bubbling. I have demonstrated below.

1. Two is better than one. Whenever possible have one person focus on one bubble area while the other focuses on the other bubble area.
2. Make your mouth look like the bubble stick end.
3. Lean forward so that the bubbles don’t end up coming back into your nose crevices.

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4. Then blow. Some people prefer the O shape while others like the line shape. Daddy and I have demonstrated each one for you.
5. Keep your toes and feet together so that bubbles don’t make you slip off of your daddy’s lap. I’ve had that happen before. Believe me, I’ve learned my lesson.

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And then there was the photo shoot. I make it a goal to never smile during a real photo shoot. Are you thinking I’m a meanie? Please, give me a chance. I’m not being meanie. I just have this strong, deep-rooted belief that real photo shoots should capture the side of me that most never get to see. Why have a photo shoot if it’s the same old stuff, right? I’m always smiling, so I like to mix it up and give my audience something fresh.

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I was quickly able to convince the whole gang. See, isn’t this so interesting?

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Just when you think I don’t have any new poses up my sleeve – BAM – the sophisticated, gentle professor.

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Don’t mind this one. I know I’m smiling, and that’s the same ol’, same ol’. But, seriously, somebody tooted and I couldn’t believe that would ever happen during a photo shoot.

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Keeping warm

I heard about this thing called the 80’s. I’m not quite sure what that is, but anything that is always preceded by the word “the” is usually pretty important. So, I’m going to have to go with my instincts on this one and assume that I should jump on board. I did some research on how to make the 80’s a part of my everyday life. Leg-warmers were first on the list in many of the scientific journals I was reading. I studied the pictures and definitions and realized that I can easily make my own leg-warmers with a few household items. Let me walk you through this recipe*:

*Please note that this will only work for people under 3 feet.

1. Find a pair of your daddy’s tall, cozy socks.
2. Hold them up to your leg to make sure they are long enough to adequately “warm”. Just because it’s summer doesn’t mean we should take warm for granted.
3. Put one sock on each leg all the way up to your buns if you can. Leg-warmer motto “The warmer the better, the longer the tetter.” (Rhyming is more important that real words).
4. The 80’s leg-warmers have the feet cut out. But, you have to make fashion your own, otherwise it’s not art. I choose to leave the feet on so that my piggies can be warm with my legs. Also, I’m not sure that’s a good way for Daddy to find out about my new ideas.

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Did you know that I have a new cousin? His name is Dylan Alexander. I bought him this fun little silly guy to welcome him into the family. Honestly, I already know the silly guy’s name, but that’s really not my place. He’s not my silly guy. He belongs to Dylan now, and I need to respect his naming rights.

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I already have a Cuz D, so I’m really thinking carefully about what Dylan’s rap name should be. What I need to do is have Daddy beatbox for me while I rap stuff out of my head and heart. That’s when the good stuff always comes out. Until then, I’m going to call him D, D, the Honeybee.
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On Saturday when Auntie Heidi peekabooed D the Honeybee into the world, I started a new tradition. I decided that every new family member should be initiated with a teddy bear hug cuddle. But, at the same time I shoved him just a little so that he would know that we’re boys and we have to do roughy things too. My shove may have also been to let him know that I’m a pre kid man, and he’s not. Hey, I’m not being mean. When I was a baby-baby I totally remember wanting the pre kid men to shove me and stuff. It’s good to establish where we all stand, ya know?
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My initiation then got mushy again and I gave him a kissie on the cheek. Nothing is as it seems, so of course it was not a normal kissie either. At the end, I gave him a little zerbie so that he could know just how silly I am. Cuz D. has taught me everything I know about silliness, and I’m prepared to pass it on down the line.
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Splish Splash

A couple weeks ago it was the Sahara Desert outside, so the Vis’ welcomed a swimming pool into the family. You know what? It did end up being a bunch of fun, but I couldn’t help but start out the process a little on the grumpy side.

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Daddy thought he might ease the tension by surprising me with a hose spray. We weren’t exactly on the same page with how to cure my grumpiness, but like I said before the end result was good. Let’s let bygones be bygones.

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Still feeling a little unsure and not ungrumpy, I put on the good attitude hat and jumped in. Note: the good attitude hat is invisible and works gradually. That’s why my face still seems to have a bit of attitude. I had just put the hat on seconds before.

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This is many seconds later when the good attitude hat had completely kicked in. I was actually feeling quite overwhelmed with good attitudeness.
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So maybe I am even at the point where I’m proud of my little pool and like to invite buddies over to play. This is E-I-E-I-O. Of course you know by now that I usually introduce people first by their rap name. People who aren’t rappers call him Evan. I call him E-I for short because even rap names can be too long to actually use in everyday life.

You might be suddenly alarmed when you realize that E-I doesn’t have any swim trunks on. Well, E-I is a baby-man. He is very buff and brave-heart looking, so people often mistake him for a pre-kid. But, no, he’s a baby-man, and baby-men definitely aren’t held to the swim trunk code of ethics.
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Our mommies told us “time to get out.” As a baby-man, E-I’s first thought was “Oh no, how am I going to survive the bummerness of having to leave this fun pool?” But, as a pre-kid, my first thought was “hmmmmmm, there’s got to be some way to change their mind. Give me a second while I make my plan.”
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Sniper moves

Look. I don’t usually pose while on the pot. I have a perfectly sound reason for this picture. Daddy has a sneaky camera on his phone. Me, I’m innocently pooing or peeing (it’s really none of your business which one) on the pot when I see Daddy looking mischievously at his contraption. Honestly, I did have a feeling that something fishy was occurring, so I peered over my piggies to investigate. All of a sudden – whammy! He took my picture! On the potty! I just think that’s crazy. At the time I couldn’t think of any rational reason other than that he noticed how stately my piggies were that day. Ya know, I had no idea how handsome they looked or I wouldn’t have protested so much afterwards. Daddy, thanks for doing what you had to do to capture my piggies in their prime.

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Man stuff

Baby man I might be, but some things still intimidate me. If you’re a lady, you probably think that all men are born knowing how to fix cars. That’s only half true. Most car things really are second nature. For example, changing a tire. No one has ever taught me, but how hard could it be? But, then there’s the harder things like fixing your car’s songs and special noises. I’m not afraid to be vulnerable and say that I needed to submit to my daddy’s superior manness on this one.

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I gotta say, this one was a toughy. Even my daddy had to look around before we found the bottom of the problem. We popped the hood and even looked underneath in the oily and dirty section. Nothing. But, don’t be alarmed, we eventually figured it out, and now my car is singing perfectly again.

That’s one small step for babies, and one giant leap for baby-men.

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Happy New Year!

For New Years I went to the mountains to hang out with some friends. That includes Mommy and Daddy, of course, because they’re my numero unos. The best and worst part was the snow. Best because it ended up being a great experience. Worst because I definitely was nervous. Whenever Daddy takes me out to do something daring, I look forward with my look of braveness. But, then I always have the comfort of looking over Daddy’s shoulder to show Mommy the scary feelings I might be feeling.

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When we actually got to the drop zone, I did my best to look muscular and brave, but I couldn’t hide it and my sad face just burst right on through.

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Daddy tried to whisper sweet luvies in my ear, but it just didn’t work. I needed a break to take a breather. Thankfully Daddy has the muscles to be able to lift me up and help me rise above the situation.

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We tried it again, and let me tell you, I was pleasantly surprised. Folks, I definitely recommend snow. Try it out when you get the chance.

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After only a couple minutes I was feeling like a pro. I took a couple steps, hanging on with only one hand – one hand folks. I think I even pivoted once or twice.

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Ok, Mommy always has her camera. I used to smile or pretend she wasn’t there, acting natrually. But I’ve progressed. Now, I know how to work the camera. Moody, serious, thoughtful – these are advanced picturing skills. 11 1/2 months of experience is how a baby-man achieves such a professional level.

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Guy time

Last week I got to hang out with one of my favorite buddies, Evan. The daddies decided that it would be good for us to have a little cuddle time. Ya know what, guys? That’s sweet.

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Buuuuuut,, you can only be sugar and molasses for so long. Then you have to start breaking a sweat again. I said, “Pssssst. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Evan grinned, and we both screamed out at the top of our lungs, “Tackle football!!!”

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The coin toss is a serious matter. This is the only time you have to size up your opponent. I know what you’re thinking – Abel, you’re twice his size. What do you have to worry about? Look. Don’t underestimate the Evanator. He might be compact, but will you look at the size of those thighs? He’s not going to catch me napping. I’m on to him.

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Despite the smell of competition all around us, I knew I needed to step up as the older baby-man. Even if you want to win, you can still be a good sport. I like to break the ice with a good old fashioned high five. Don’t think Evan’s being a meanie. He did respond. It’s just takes him a while being a baby-baby and all.

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I didn’t want to say this, but I’m going to go ahead anyway. Yeah, I let him have the first tackle. I just wanted him to start the game out feeling encouraged.

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Then it got ugly. Evanator, isn’t there a rule that you can’t tackle someone two times in a row?

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I ended up calling a time out. I just really needed a team huddle with myself to get pumped up again.

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In my huddle I decided that every good man needs another man by his side. So, we asked the daddies to join in. I do seem to be at the bottom of the tackle again, but that’s just because I always have the ball. I do lots of crazy and tricky things. I would tackle me too if I were on the other team.

Let me take this opportunity to give you a few pointers on dog piles.

1. You never know when someone might be taking your picture. Always be ready with a smile.

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2. At the same time, you need to balance your smiles out with rugged football faces like this one. It makes for a good newspaper picture.

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3. Always, always remember to stop and smell the roses. For example, I was so busy being tackled and making the appropriate faces that I almost missed this so cool blade of grass in front of me. Thankfully I did see it and spent the necessary time enjoying it.

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Man Wear

Daddy and I decided to wear hats today. There are several reasons for this none of them being the sun.

1. We had a manly task ahead of us. There’s just something about putting a hat on and putting some water underneath your armpits that makes you feel like you’re really working hard.
2. Sometimes we like to match so that we can tell the rest of the family that we’re the boys, and we gotta stick together.
3. Our aforementioned manly task was spontaneous. We needed to leave right away and didn’t have time to tame our unruly man hair.

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This is my tired smile debut. Of course I do it all the time, but my faithful readers have never had the privilege of meeting it. May I present to you Mr. Sleepy Happy Guy.

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