abel’s home

Archive for the 'advice' Category


I have an important announcement to make. I have new jammies. Personally, I think that is powerful enough on its own. I choose not to expand on the subject at this point.

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Buuuuuut, I do have to point out that my jammies have ferocious dinosaurs printed on them. Roses, no. Strawberry Shortcake, no. Other pink things, no. Dinosaurs. I read yesterday that this particular type of dinosaur was the most feared. I know that T-rex dinosaurs have the scariest reputation, but this very true book highlighted this jammie dinosaur as the real bully of the dinos. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it’s good to be a bully. But, it’s different when you’re a dinosaur, and it’s different when you’re wearing jammies. You have to think about what everyone will think when they come to the house too early and accidentally see you in your jammies. They need to think you’re tough and not really in your jammies, so bully jammies really help in that area of life.

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My last month and a half

You may have thought, “What happened? Did Abel Justice all of a sudden grow up and move to Memphis for their famous ice cream?” Don’t worry folks. I’m still here, and my mommy has a baby in her belly. That’s why our computer time has been limited. I am too luvey to bug her about getting my blog ready for me to compose. A wise snail once told me, “Have patience, have patience. Don’t be in such a hurry…” That’s a song, and if you ever want to hear it, just do something impatient around Mommy. She’s sure to begin singing. Anyway, here’s a recap on my life during Mommy’s sick couch time.

Gramma D. showed me how to be an artist. She is the most fancy artist in our family, so it only makes sense that she would show me the ropes.

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Daddy showed me how to blow bubbles. I guess I got showed a lot of stuff during the sick time. I had no idea, but I guess there’s a proper form to use when one is bubbling. I have demonstrated below.

1. Two is better than one. Whenever possible have one person focus on one bubble area while the other focuses on the other bubble area.
2. Make your mouth look like the bubble stick end.
3. Lean forward so that the bubbles don’t end up coming back into your nose crevices.

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4. Then blow. Some people prefer the O shape while others like the line shape. Daddy and I have demonstrated each one for you.
5. Keep your toes and feet together so that bubbles don’t make you slip off of your daddy’s lap. I’ve had that happen before. Believe me, I’ve learned my lesson.

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And then there was the photo shoot. I make it a goal to never smile during a real photo shoot. Are you thinking I’m a meanie? Please, give me a chance. I’m not being meanie. I just have this strong, deep-rooted belief that real photo shoots should capture the side of me that most never get to see. Why have a photo shoot if it’s the same old stuff, right? I’m always smiling, so I like to mix it up and give my audience something fresh.

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I was quickly able to convince the whole gang. See, isn’t this so interesting?

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Just when you think I don’t have any new poses up my sleeve – BAM – the sophisticated, gentle professor.

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Don’t mind this one. I know I’m smiling, and that’s the same ol’, same ol’. But, seriously, somebody tooted and I couldn’t believe that would ever happen during a photo shoot.

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Grampa V. and me

First of all…yes, this is me post haircut. Sorry to make you wait. As I mentioned before, all of my updates are dependent on Mommy’s camera. I can’t be held accountable for late updates or lack of posts. I’m only working with what I’m given, folks.

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Second of all, this is Grampa V. whose rap name is Bop-pa. I love the guy, I really do. We get each other in a way that is special to light-haired people. I read somewhere that light-haired people should hang out and do yard work together as much as possible because something very beneficial-for-the-human-race happens when such a thing occurs. Therefore, I try to follow him around during most of my free time. He hasn’t read that light-haired article yet, so he doesn’t follow me around in the same manner. Give him time. He will soon understand.

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When we hang out together sitting down, we usually end up reading to each other. If he’s the one saying the words, we read colorful books about wonderful animals, amazing shapes, and hilarious things. If I’m the one saying the words, we focus on more academic works like word magazines or boringful books that don’t draw anything out. Good relationships are all about compromise. The first rule to compromise is “Don’t be a meanie, and take a second to think about what books your friend might want to look at and listen to.”

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Keeping warm

I heard about this thing called the 80’s. I’m not quite sure what that is, but anything that is always preceded by the word “the” is usually pretty important. So, I’m going to have to go with my instincts on this one and assume that I should jump on board. I did some research on how to make the 80’s a part of my everyday life. Leg-warmers were first on the list in many of the scientific journals I was reading. I studied the pictures and definitions and realized that I can easily make my own leg-warmers with a few household items. Let me walk you through this recipe*:

*Please note that this will only work for people under 3 feet.

1. Find a pair of your daddy’s tall, cozy socks.
2. Hold them up to your leg to make sure they are long enough to adequately “warm”. Just because it’s summer doesn’t mean we should take warm for granted.
3. Put one sock on each leg all the way up to your buns if you can. Leg-warmer motto “The warmer the better, the longer the tetter.” (Rhyming is more important that real words).
4. The 80’s leg-warmers have the feet cut out. But, you have to make fashion your own, otherwise it’s not art. I choose to leave the feet on so that my piggies can be warm with my legs. Also, I’m not sure that’s a good way for Daddy to find out about my new ideas.

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Clean stuff

E-I-E-I-O and I were hanging out and since we’re boys, we ended up getting dirty and smelly in our armpits. And, I’m just going to be honest. I’m older than E-I, and I get more stinky. I’m not afraid to initiate bath time. Thankfully, E-I is understanding and totally willing to take time out and wash our arm pits.
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When it’s bath time, I like to get the boring cleaning stuff out of the way so that we can get to the important fun time. E-I was having a hard time focusing. He just wanted to bite on the black thing so hard that when I talked to him about getting clean, I saw his lip start to quiver. At that point, I changed the subject, stepped up, and began bathing him while he played. I felt like today was a big milestone for me as I had my first mature, pre-kid-man good thing.
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Lately everyone has been asking me the same question. How do you know when a baby-man’s hair is clean? You know what? That’s a tough question because baby-men have special and confusing hair. But, let me give you a tip from my experience. When you’re washing baby-man hair, it will seem fuzzy and stinky for a little while. You’ll think to yourself, “Wow, I’m really perplexed. How do I know when to stop?” Just keep scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing until you start to see a little swirl forming. Swirl rhymes with pearl, and pearls are very clean.

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I know what you’re thinking. Where’s the swirl on your head? May I remind you that I’m a pre-kid-man? My swirl pearl technique can only be applied to baby-men.

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When we were finished getting clean, I was ready to start playing new things. E-I, on the other hand, couldn’t stop thinking about that black circle thing. At first I was a little frustrated. But, soon I started to have friend feelings again and let him do what he thought was best. I decided to take the time to practice my blue cup crawl stroke. It’s a little move I created for those times when you want to exercise and have the freedom to drink at any split second.

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Beach like a man

We went to the beach not so long ago. Look – There’s a toughy way and a softy way to do the beach. I have nothing against softies. I have a softy side, but I have control over when to use it and when to leave it in the car. For this particular beach experience, I needed to leave it in the car.

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When you’re being tough, you have to naturally let sand get all over you. No froofy beach towels are necessary. You don’t even need a bathing suit because your clothes are supposed to get messy and wet in this situation.

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When you’re tough, please, still take out moments to ponder. It’s very toughy to ponder especially when it has to do with seaweed that you find on the beach. There are many things to think about regarding seaweed-type stuff, and I wouldn’t want anyone to miss that opportunity.

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Let me show you a close up of my piggies. Normally you would like to have your piggies visible, clean, and smelling like piggies should. Well, at the beach – in a toughy situation that is – make sure they are hardly recognizable, overly dirty, and smelling like beach stuff. Bonus: when you’re a pre-kid man, you don’t usually have any manly leg hair and stuff. Sand all over makes a great substitute! Don’t be afraid to try this out.

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Oh! I haven’t even mentioned my monkey back pack. Every toughy needs a backpack when you go out-of-doors. You never know when you might need a flashlight, cheerios, a crayon, book, or a rock. Always be prepared.
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The Boy Who Cried “Boo-Boo”

Let me tell you a powerful story I heard recently. It really convicted me.

“There once was a sweet, white haired baby named Gabel Rustice who was often placed in his crib to take naps. Gabel did not particularly like these naps and was constantly thinking of ways to get out of his crib. One day it occurred to him that whenever he asked to go poo-poo, everyone in the house took it very seriously. ‘I will simply have to go poo-poo every time I’m put down for a nap.’

The next day he tried out this fantastic idea. Mommy laid him down in the crib with a ‘night night.’ Before she could even start her exit, Gabel sat up in bed, made the hand sign for poo-poo and said very articulately, ‘boo-boo.’ He could see the surprise in her face. Of course she would take him to the potty. Once on the potty, Gabel talked about duckies and smiled lovingly but no poo-poo. Mommy put him back in the crib.

The next nap Gabel was ecstatic to try the same approach. When Gabel first did his poo-poo sign and ‘boo-boo’ words, Mommy said, ‘No-no. Go to sleep.’ But every time Mommy looked in, Gabel was diligent in continuing his hand sign and special word. Eventually, Mommy gave in and brought Gabel to the toilet. No poo-poo.

The next day when nap time rolled around again, Gabel was confident in his methods. However, this time was different. He really did have to go poo-poo. Over and over he signed and talked about poo-poo, but Mommy wouldn’t listen. ‘Wait a second,’ he thought, ‘I really do have to go poo-poo. Why isn’t she taking me? I’m sad now.’

After the nap was over, Mommy entered the room and the whole room was stinky. Gabel had gone poo-poo in his diaper! As she changed his diaper, Mommy lovingly explained that if little boys always cry poo-poo with no poo-poo, then when the real thing comes along no one will believe them.”

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Teasing stuff

Probably my favorite thing on all the earth is to tease mommy. Sometimes she can act strong, stay unsmiling, and maintain her facade of “that’s not funny.” But uuuuusally, I get her and she has to giggle until I’m not funny anymore. If you’re ever in the mood to tease your mommy but you’re also feeling completely dry of ideas, use this one. It never fails.

Scenario: Mommy is trying to talk to you. Just look at her, don’t say anything and don’t move. Just stick out the funniest tongue you have. Freeze and wait for it. Don’t give in because you never know how long it will take to be funny. Just trust me. In your mind say “Just trust bust” (That’s a little wise saying that I came up with when I need to remember to relax and wait. Everything is more powerful if it rhymes).

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Guy time

Last week I got to hang out with one of my favorite buddies, Evan. The daddies decided that it would be good for us to have a little cuddle time. Ya know what, guys? That’s sweet.

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Buuuuuut,, you can only be sugar and molasses for so long. Then you have to start breaking a sweat again. I said, “Pssssst. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Evan grinned, and we both screamed out at the top of our lungs, “Tackle football!!!”

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The coin toss is a serious matter. This is the only time you have to size up your opponent. I know what you’re thinking – Abel, you’re twice his size. What do you have to worry about? Look. Don’t underestimate the Evanator. He might be compact, but will you look at the size of those thighs? He’s not going to catch me napping. I’m on to him.

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Despite the smell of competition all around us, I knew I needed to step up as the older baby-man. Even if you want to win, you can still be a good sport. I like to break the ice with a good old fashioned high five. Don’t think Evan’s being a meanie. He did respond. It’s just takes him a while being a baby-baby and all.

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I didn’t want to say this, but I’m going to go ahead anyway. Yeah, I let him have the first tackle. I just wanted him to start the game out feeling encouraged.

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Then it got ugly. Evanator, isn’t there a rule that you can’t tackle someone two times in a row?

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I ended up calling a time out. I just really needed a team huddle with myself to get pumped up again.

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In my huddle I decided that every good man needs another man by his side. So, we asked the daddies to join in. I do seem to be at the bottom of the tackle again, but that’s just because I always have the ball. I do lots of crazy and tricky things. I would tackle me too if I were on the other team.

Let me take this opportunity to give you a few pointers on dog piles.

1. You never know when someone might be taking your picture. Always be ready with a smile.

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2. At the same time, you need to balance your smiles out with rugged football faces like this one. It makes for a good newspaper picture.

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3. Always, always remember to stop and smell the roses. For example, I was so busy being tackled and making the appropriate faces that I almost missed this so cool blade of grass in front of me. Thankfully I did see it and spent the necessary time enjoying it.

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